King chicken

21 01 2010

China town is the by far best place in ncl to hangout. In the words of the Italian “you don’t go out for a meal in china town, you just hangout and eat inbetween”

china town express has the triad endorsement, nudo the natives approval and countless banquets for the high rollers, and now it has KING CHICKEN.

This place is seriously on some next level shit as far as fried chicken goes.

The Italian took the 5 chicken wing deal which prompted the greatest question I have ever heard from the lass behind the till “are you sure you want the Peri peri sauce? were hotter than nandos, alot hotter” not only is this establishment got more class than any other chicken joint in NCL it activly calls out it’s competitors. Street.

I got the stock wings meal, and when it came we got our second surprise, the goods were layed out like the chef was some micheiln starred G. The till lass wernt lying, the peri peri was hotter than a motherfucker, and the wings had some decent meat on them for a change.

The Mayonaise was that weird thin euro stuuf that looks like tippex which is dope, the only downside is the flatscreen pumping out constant linkin park videos , but we told them what was up with the feedback card they gave us so next time you go in you should hear nothing but shoalins finest.

King chicken is easyly the best city center chicken joint/indoor stoop, it elevates fried chicken to a new level giving it the respect it deserves, plus next door is the new Chinese ket and cup noodle shop for afters.

4.5 out of 5


Bhangra niche?

20 10 2009

so what feels like months ago it was Newcastle Mela. the asian answer to the hoppings? except the radgies that gan wear lethal white timbo’s along with some indian robes. Bhangra followed by some bait, whats not to like. The last time I went someone showed me a video of some asian beef that went down which involved ass wipping with belts. I was there strictly for the other kind of asian beef which is only availible in the foodcourt.

So I wandered the food area looking for who was going to get the hard earned in exchange for some fine cuisine. Lewis along with his genuine asian girlfriend helped me chose, for some reason when we got there there was a bunch a chancers flogging inflatible ballons bearing her resemblance. It was latter explained that this was a popular ethnic cartoon character known as dora the explorer, its amzing what they get up to in the colinies these days, eh? anyways back to the food, it didnt matter what the backseat eaters were saying, the main factor was the short que,  plus the chefs looked pretty old and had white beards! These boys must have been in the trade for a coons age ergo would know what was up.

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Bin o’ Spice

Turns out they did. £7 got me everything they had cooked that day in a carton and a can of coke. You cant argue with that. So they put it down like this; Naan bread basew filled with meat curry, another meat curry then a veggie curry, salad over that, sauce, a little rice on da side along with a bahji and a pakora. This wasn’t no bull shit portion either, It took some eating, I think i even had to leave some naan. wash it doon with some cola. Lovely stuff.

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To help the digestion we made dora the explora translate what was going down on stage. In between singing about woodpeckers and wacking two garden cains together the singer was calling out the bored crowd, while punjabi MC tryed to flog us his mixtape. After that I ate some kind of mango indian lolly. Lewis had a pistachio lolly, which was alright but a bit queer tasting for me. Some deepfried suger dowsed indian batter also went down.

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I forget its name  (Jallebi) but it was orange and probably sends kids wild.  Sim did a little bangra dance to celbrate, until the remainder of the Jallebi leaked in her bag, and all over her skirt. sticky crotch aint a good look for rammadan.


14 10 2009

Is there anything a geordie likes better than a pasty? how about a discount pasty?


located at the edge of the best end, just befor the aryian newsagents, the greggs discount shop is worth the short trip out of town. want 4 cold steak pastys even though ones enough to fill you? yours for a quid. still room for a donut? no? how about 3 for 35 pence (jam filled) or 5 for 50p (ring). now your talking

soviet baker

no bullshit overpriced pop, bagguets or sandwiches, just everyone of yesterdays baked goods from the tyne and wear metripolitain area. 4 packs of pastys, 8 packs of the mega stotties for a quid, the shops got it all.  Its even been designed with a nod towards scandinavian minimalism/soviet era starkness for all you nathan barley types.

id buy that for a dolla

The most enjoyable part of your trip to the bargin bakers is seeing the rush for the last of the stotties between the locals, or the long suffering counter girls trying to explain to 90 year old indian men that they cant haggle for stale chicken slices.

Im proud to say this is the only greggs that is fully pound that shit approved. Get at it.

Once upon a time in mexico……..

18 09 2009

Been searching for a good burrito in the UK ever since hitting some amazing takeaways in LA 4 or 5 years ago.After a tiring ride around London city ricky took me to a place called Chilangos. Although it wasn’t as good as LA it was the best burrito I’ve ever seen/consumed in the UK (not many).

The man himself enjoying a steak filled burrito:

The beast is big.

The place is basically a subway but serves burritos instead.

Anyway, after arriving home to sunny Wales I couldn’t keep my mind away from the satisfactory feeling of being full of burrito. Since the best Mexican restaurant in Swansea is chiquitos (which is utter dog shit) I had to go home made. After a lengthy search of the local super markets for some avocados that weren’t as hard as boulders I was set.

Ultimate burrito coming soon! along with some other mexican delights aswell as I now have more salsa and guacamole than Ricky Martin.


16 05 2009

the late shows are on again tonight, went down to the preview around the ouseburn last night for the free wine, there’s some good paintings in the mushroom works based on marmite which I got some photos of but cant get off the fucking iphone, shit definatly aint the future. the full line up of events is here. Theres a lot based around the current art world flavor of the month which is food art. Mainly this involves writing something delicate on a cupcake or some other twee rubbish, but the workplace gallery in gateshead has some specially grown fungus sculpture by jo coup, who’s previous work enough rope included a mound of rotting fruit used to power small band saws that slowly cut through the sculptures table.




the pick of the night however has to be at the laing gallerry, not only do you get to look round he always dope taylor wessing photographic portrait prize with free booze, but as the publicity crap states:

Don’t miss this edgy performance by artist Sophie Beresford, whose work is inspired by North East youth culture. Her

unique performance, using Spanish Makina techno music, will be filmed and then screened throughout the evening.

ive managed to secure a unique preview of the work here for your pleasure. check it out and make sure you hit up all the gallerys, free booze art crackerjacks and they even put on a bus to cart you from one joint to the next! 



4 05 2009

Al basha. First Arabic restaurant in Newcastle. Best arabic restaurant in Newcastle. full of natives. crazy auto-tune 170 bpm lebanise folk on the stereo. buffet review will be coming soon but first up is the take out.

this needs to be addressed as theres a lot of chi chi men talking fassi business on trustedplaces and the like saying basha takeaway aint up to scratch. I ain’t never had aproblem with it, ordered last friday night 8pm, peek time, food was in my hands in 20 minutes. the food is as good as what you get in the joint.  chicken shawarma wrap, falafel wrap and a mousakka, deliverd to your door for 12 spond. basha


dsc_6210half a chicken shawarma, half falafel wrap

best turkish food this side of a berlin stoop. As “DR” johnston from the afformentioned bumberclaut website explians:

“The food made a really nice change to the typically spicy indian food, you’ll get to taste real kebabs not like the ones you get in dirty shops after going out late at night. The food is so nice and I really recommend it to people who have never tried it. I even tried another similar restaurant in Oxford however it fell short from how good Basha is. The waiters are friendly and are really proud of their origins and if you have ever visited will gladly have conversations with you. Ask ali to do you a dance from his region and he do a traditional arabic male on male dancing, rather amusing for a westerner!!”

no wonder they stackin money when the rest of newcastles on its arse. best food in town and slighly degrading entertainment for your culuturally ignortant clientel in one. heres some of the waiters practicing for the evening serivce

white castle fries only come in one size

16 04 2009

the black bish avoiding a red bull viral marketing campaign

the black bish knows how to eat, would a shit bag be an unfair advantage in a eating contest? switch to a bigger bag and you can you pound more?

bish's jizzy scran

bish loves scran so much when he saw his pub lunch he jizzed!

and he still ate that shit! holla

regardless hes got the knowledge when it comes to the best eating joints in town, here he is with teddy from hangtime searching for the ultimate lil’ sumthin sumthin, the white castle burger. I cant belive ive been to america four times and never hit the joint.

edit: just checked out the blog stats to see how people were coming onto this

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