slice harvester

16 03 2010

possibly one of the best things I’ve ever come across on the internet………….

Some dude attempting to eat a slice in every pizza joint in NYC! hes even done grandpas, in inwood which I had the pleasure of eating about 6 times in the space of 10 days

this place was amazing. the pizza probably wasn’t the best in new york, but it shat on any takeout you can get over here. we got 2 calzones, chicken wings, a 40 of sprite and stock margarita for about 6 quid. the pizza is only half the charm tho, Inwood is right at the top of Manhatten, some weird mix of project housing and city workers, jakeys selling hookey dvds and jewellery set out on towels at the side of the cross roads at the edge of the block, hispanic and black kids on the stoop all day, hot 97 coming out of every car and shop. through a youth spent listening to public enemy, wu tang and  nas,  watching kids, goodfellas, the warriors and wildstyle, new york had become a mythical city, every detail is loaded with borrowed memories, connotations from music and films, making something as mundane as buying some scran and getting a oversized bottle of pop from a bodega an unforgettable experience.



15 04 2009

While the sweeds que out the door to pound wackdonalds this dudes smokin blunts and  selling pastys to drunks.

he didnt have any ting, just “bashment” sauce, three hands and his cutchie.he sits in his shed all night pumping out bounty killa and sizzla to fight off the swedish winds.the grape drink was appealing but there were no chicken and waffles to go with it so I setlled for the ginger ale
unfortunatly me being a baldhead pussieclot, jah is not within and the jamican fire ale wasn’t enough, so i had to reachfor the 7/11 calzone for warmth.

Go one then, Go on then

swedish 7/11 is amazing, like being transported to america, I dont even remeber what this tasted of but it was hot and sobering, god knows how much this cost.

mystery filing

mystery filling

they also had sweets named after faeces

bare lolz

bare lolz

shanghai fried chicken

12 01 2009

came across this on the animal blog

while taking a break from writing about this

coincidence? no.
Chicken Rules Everything Around Me.

which brings us to this

peeking duck pizza? what do leeks have to do with texas? all in all this pizza shop was fucked. At 2am gateshead high street aint the most welcoming place but this was something else. situated opposite the site of gateshead armory, and sharing a side ally with some pub with its side door open and presumably a gangbang going on from the noises emitting from said door, this was the only haven available apart from TOP TOP PIZZA but they looked more expensive

not only did the boss’s fucked up eye make me think of good old hook hand abu hamza himself but his homes was ranting about shit in arabic, every so often dropping in a bit of english, most notably “fuck obama” and “pig cunt bastard” I ordered chicken wings and chips for £2.60 and as soon as i sat down the boss started shouting at his mate about something. being pretty far gone i started to think of the evil rabbit from watership down and then that maybe i wasn’t getting chicken after all, id seen a fair few rabbits round 5 bridges and given the proximity to that and the fact the boss had mixy made me pretty certain i was getting rabbits feet instead. anyways i soon forgot all about that when the goods arrived

foil trays add a touch of class to an already upmarket establishment.
not only was the rabbit/chicken covered in some hot sauce, the chips weren’t dog shit, typical kebab house chips but done well, probably because i was they only customer apart from some 40 year old radgie lass dressed as a 12 year old.

track b’s and pink socks. real talk.
i think she assumed i was homeless due to the combination of waiting longer than her and well, looking like a tramp, when she got her food she put half her chips in front of me, smiled then walked off.

best slice in Newcastle

27 10 2008

I hereby declare that the Nipoti slice is the finest pizza slice available in the whole of Newcastle. I’ve spent a lot of time searching for the ultimate slice. It just seems that England isn’t down with the fat Slice lifestyle. Why would anyone in their right mind think that anyone would want a frozen pizza from Iceland which was cooked yesterday and has spent the evening on a hot plate from monument food court? That shit is 100% whack and it isn’t even cheap either. I can condone cheap and shit but shit and expensive? There should be a law against it. Whats so complicated about selling by the slice? Every other country in the world seems to excel at it except this one. Licence to print money, slice shop on Chilli road. Pizza hut and Manhatten’s would shit a brick.

A good slice should be cheap, ideally a single coin, so we’ll say a quid. It should be in your hand within 4 minutes at most, and that’s including time in line and ordering. Served by someone with a genuine Italian bloodline. The cheese has got to be 100% mozzarella, this shits £45 a box.. If your buying a bigg market (munchies, get stuffed, etc.) drunkards pizzas then I’ll put the bairns shoe money on you not getting 100%. you’ll be lucky if your on 70/30. You’ll probably be on 50/50 at best. The rest of this cheese ratio being made up of non specific cheddars and analogue. I’m not even sure if analogue is even a food? It probably has more in common with plastic than cheese? The drunks in the bigg market have killed the pizza industry over here. Its too easy to pass out garbage and rake in the coin. I hate these rapists with every inch of my heart, but boy do I respect them. The only thing worse than the drunkards pizza’s is the corporate pizza. Pizza hut, pappa john, domino etc. you are all money hungry rapist motherfuckers. How have these people brainwashed people into believing that any kind of takeaway pizza should cost more than a restaurant pizza? NHS discount these crooks.

The Nipoti slice isn’t just the best of a bad bunch though, it genuinely is a good slice. £1.50 for a double slice of a corner of a square pizza. Its not £1 but this is Jesmond at least the shits got meat on it too. Genuine meat as well no cracker ass pepperami around here. Its not really round either? but alot of the dopest places in italy cook pizza squre like a metre square. then they slice that shit up and fold it in half. legit. Nipoti whack that slice in the oven for a hot minute a la sals famous (that technique is unheard of in england) and then BAM its in a brown bag on a paper plate and your out the door. Eat on the curb. ride into the sunset.