slice harvester

16 03 2010

possibly one of the best things I’ve ever come across on the internet………….

Some dude attempting to eat a slice in every pizza joint in NYC! hes even done grandpas, in inwood which I had the pleasure of eating about 6 times in the space of 10 days

this place was amazing. the pizza probably wasn’t the best in new york, but it shat on any takeout you can get over here. we got 2 calzones, chicken wings, a 40 of sprite and stock margarita for about 6 quid. the pizza is only half the charm tho, Inwood is right at the top of Manhatten, some weird mix of project housing and city workers, jakeys selling hookey dvds and jewellery set out on towels at the side of the cross roads at the edge of the block, hispanic and black kids on the stoop all day, hot 97 coming out of every car and shop. through a youth spent listening to public enemy, wu tang and  nas,  watching kids, goodfellas, the warriors and wildstyle, new york had become a mythical city, every detail is loaded with borrowed memories, connotations from music and films, making something as mundane as buying some scran and getting a oversized bottle of pop from a bodega an unforgettable experience.



27 09 2009

Taken from VIZ top tips, issue 189, October 2009.
Don’t bother saying thanks for the hundreds of pounds worth of free Viz artwork that is now decorating your shitty restauraunt. In fact, don’t even bother replying to our emails. And if you did get round to offering us one of your poxy pizzas in return, you can stick it up your arse, which might make it taste a bit better”


15 04 2009

While the sweeds que out the door to pound wackdonalds this dudes smokin blunts and  selling pastys to drunks.

he didnt have any ting, just “bashment” sauce, three hands and his cutchie.he sits in his shed all night pumping out bounty killa and sizzla to fight off the swedish winds.the grape drink was appealing but there were no chicken and waffles to go with it so I setlled for the ginger ale
unfortunatly me being a baldhead pussieclot, jah is not within and the jamican fire ale wasn’t enough, so i had to reachfor the 7/11 calzone for warmth.

Go one then, Go on then

swedish 7/11 is amazing, like being transported to america, I dont even remeber what this tasted of but it was hot and sobering, god knows how much this cost.

mystery filing

mystery filling

they also had sweets named after faeces

bare lolz

bare lolz

best slice in Newcastle

27 10 2008

I hereby declare that the Nipoti slice is the finest pizza slice available in the whole of Newcastle. I’ve spent a lot of time searching for the ultimate slice. It just seems that England isn’t down with the fat Slice lifestyle. Why would anyone in their right mind think that anyone would want a frozen pizza from Iceland which was cooked yesterday and has spent the evening on a hot plate from monument food court? That shit is 100% whack and it isn’t even cheap either. I can condone cheap and shit but shit and expensive? There should be a law against it. Whats so complicated about selling by the slice? Every other country in the world seems to excel at it except this one. Licence to print money, slice shop on Chilli road. Pizza hut and Manhatten’s would shit a brick.

A good slice should be cheap, ideally a single coin, so we’ll say a quid. It should be in your hand within 4 minutes at most, and that’s including time in line and ordering. Served by someone with a genuine Italian bloodline. The cheese has got to be 100% mozzarella, this shits £45 a box.. If your buying a bigg market (munchies, get stuffed, etc.) drunkards pizzas then I’ll put the bairns shoe money on you not getting 100%. you’ll be lucky if your on 70/30. You’ll probably be on 50/50 at best. The rest of this cheese ratio being made up of non specific cheddars and analogue. I’m not even sure if analogue is even a food? It probably has more in common with plastic than cheese? The drunks in the bigg market have killed the pizza industry over here. Its too easy to pass out garbage and rake in the coin. I hate these rapists with every inch of my heart, but boy do I respect them. The only thing worse than the drunkards pizza’s is the corporate pizza. Pizza hut, pappa john, domino etc. you are all money hungry rapist motherfuckers. How have these people brainwashed people into believing that any kind of takeaway pizza should cost more than a restaurant pizza? NHS discount these crooks.

The Nipoti slice isn’t just the best of a bad bunch though, it genuinely is a good slice. £1.50 for a double slice of a corner of a square pizza. Its not £1 but this is Jesmond at least the shits got meat on it too. Genuine meat as well no cracker ass pepperami around here. Its not really round either? but alot of the dopest places in italy cook pizza squre like a metre square. then they slice that shit up and fold it in half. legit. Nipoti whack that slice in the oven for a hot minute a la sals famous (that technique is unheard of in england) and then BAM its in a brown bag on a paper plate and your out the door. Eat on the curb. ride into the sunset.